Never Say Never / Heartbroken

I had to give this posting two titles because they both convey exactly what I'm feeling. Tuesday night the unthinkable happened. I never in a million years expected anything like this to happen. Well...never say never.

Everyone knows how much I love animals. Especially dogs. If I could live out in the country will lots of acreage, I would run a sanctuary for homeless & unwanted dogs. I just have a soft spot for them and would love to help them all if I could. But I can't...so I just have my two furbabies: Rudy and Graham. Before Kalissa came along, they were my babies. Graham is 10 years old and Rudy is three. I've had them both since they were puppies. When Kalissa came along, I knew they would be best buddies when she became old enough. In the meantime, we don't allow the dogs to interact with her at all. Well, Rudy mostly because Graham isn't very interested in her. *lol* We just don't want him licking on her and exposing her to his germs and also, he can be a bit rough when he plays (he's about 25 pounds). So when Rudy would come around her, we would tell him "NO!" and chase him away. Now that Kalissa is crawling and on the ground, we really have to keep Rudy from being in her face.

Fast forward to Tuesday. Early that morning I had Kalissa on the ground playing and Rudy walked by her and growled. I didn't think much of it. I just told him "NO!" and shoo'd him away. Later that night, I had her on the ground again. She was crawling and laughing and I was crawling right behind her. When we got about 2 feet from where Rudy was sleeping, he jumped up, growled, ran up to Kalissa and bit her in her face!! She immediately started screaming, I scooped her up and yelled for Al (who was sleeping). I couldn't bring myself to look at her face because I didn't know what I would see. I just held her to my chest and tried to calm her down. Al took her from me and looked at her face. Thankfully, there was no blood, he hadn't broken her skin but there was a welt above her left eye where his teeth made contact.

I'm heartbroken. One, because my baby was terrified. Two, because our family dog has to go. I never saw this coming! I was right there with her! I wonder if we had introduced Rudy to Kalissa differently if that would have prevented this. In Rudy's eyes, being near Kalissa is a bad thing and maybe he just didn't want to risk being in trouble with her so near. The scary thing is that it was unprovoked. She didn't pull his tail or anything -- she was 2 feet away! I'm not making excuses for Rudy's actions, I'm just trying to nail down a reason to help me process it all.

I have until Monday to find him a home. In the meantime, when the baby is crawling around, Rudy has to go into one of our bathrooms. I don't trust him to be near her. If I can't find him a home, then we have no choice but to take him to the Humane Society. I don't know how I'm ever going to make that drive and drop him off but I know I have to. In the end, I'm just thankful my babygirl is okay.