When do you start teaching your child values? I think you should do so right away. From the picture to the left, that sounds very hypocritical of me, right? If there's one thing that Al and I agree on in parenting, it's that we will not spoil our children. Again, a picture of Kalissa with her own Louis Vuitton does not exactly support that statement. And if you saw her closet & drawers you would certainly say I'm full of it. But Kali's only 8 1/2 months old. She has no idea of the "value" that bag has or any material thing for that matter. She also has no idea that she has a lot of stuff. The bag was a gift from my mother. She thought it would be cute for her to have it. Yes, it's all cute now but as soon as Kali starts placing stock in things, we will stop. We do not want to raise a spoiled little girl who places her values in what she has (or doesn't have) or looks. Yes, I will always make sure she has stylish clothes and shoes and that her hair is done (because that's just the type of girlie girl I am) but I will impose limits. Yes, I will tell her she's beautiful and special...but she will also know that pretty girls come a dime a dozen and that she should strive to be a smart and kind pretty girl to even begin to stand out. I will not have a thirteen-year-old-Kalissa asking me for a Birkin bag for Christmas. Matter of fact, if we do this right she won't even know what that is. So while I love dressing her up now and giving her everything I can, I also know this can't last much longer. There's a thin line between wanting and expecting and when she's old enough, she's going to have plenty of wants. Our job is to provide all of her needs and some of those wants. My dream is that her wants will not consist of very many material items, but for things like dance lessons or a trip to Yosemite. Ha! Dream on, right?!
Friday, April 16, 2010
There's a Thin Line...
When do you start teaching your child values? I think you should do so right away. From the picture to the left, that sounds very hypocritical of me, right? If there's one thing that Al and I agree on in parenting, it's that we will not spoil our children. Again, a picture of Kalissa with her own Louis Vuitton does not exactly support that statement. And if you saw her closet & drawers you would certainly say I'm full of it. But Kali's only 8 1/2 months old. She has no idea of the "value" that bag has or any material thing for that matter. She also has no idea that she has a lot of stuff. The bag was a gift from my mother. She thought it would be cute for her to have it. Yes, it's all cute now but as soon as Kali starts placing stock in things, we will stop. We do not want to raise a spoiled little girl who places her values in what she has (or doesn't have) or looks. Yes, I will always make sure she has stylish clothes and shoes and that her hair is done (because that's just the type of girlie girl I am) but I will impose limits. Yes, I will tell her she's beautiful and special...but she will also know that pretty girls come a dime a dozen and that she should strive to be a smart and kind pretty girl to even begin to stand out. I will not have a thirteen-year-old-Kalissa asking me for a Birkin bag for Christmas. Matter of fact, if we do this right she won't even know what that is. So while I love dressing her up now and giving her everything I can, I also know this can't last much longer. There's a thin line between wanting and expecting and when she's old enough, she's going to have plenty of wants. Our job is to provide all of her needs and some of those wants. My dream is that her wants will not consist of very many material items, but for things like dance lessons or a trip to Yosemite. Ha! Dream on, right?!
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4 comments:
Well, she's just so cute!
I think just the fact that you have this on your mind is a huge step in preventing a materialistic attitude. I think that more often than not, the people who turn out that way are those who were raised by parents that gaave them EVERYTHING they wanted, offered no consequences for ill behavior, etc. I know when I was growing up, when I got good grades, had good behavior, did my chores, etc, etc, I was able to get most things that I requested from my parents. But when I acted up? All i got was my 3 meals a day, lol, not even any dessert, let alone any GIFTS!
I think it's so great that you are thinking ahead about things like this, because it's so important to already have a plan in action. Good luck, and God bless!
Well said, Karoline! It was great to catch up with you last night, and I am glad you're doing well :)
I totally AGREE!!! Very Well said.
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